There is a quote from The Great Gatsby that has been rolling around my thoughts a fair bit recently. Which in turn reminds me of my second year of university when we studied the novel in, appropriately enough, an American Literature class. In the tutorial group, we each had to give a presentation on one of the novels on the reading list. Two things happened immediately in my head at the same time. One: blind panic. I hate presentations! I hate talking in front of people! I can't do this!! Negative negative negativity. Two: I shotgun Great Gatsby. It is mine. And I got it.
I don't think I had even read it at that point, but it had, of course, been recommended to me by various people. Lecturers in my American Studies degree had proclaimed it their favourite American novel of all time; it had been described to me as the quintessential American story. It was perfect.
And who cannot love the way that Fitzgerald writes. Such compelling characters, and some truly remarkable metaphors. His critique of American society at the time and the demise of the American dream is profound. I greatly enjoyed reading the novel, learning more about it, and viewing the 1974 film. I await with trepidation the efforts of Baz Luhrmann; a modern version of the film is underway in Australia and due to be released around this time next year.
It saddens me that I seem unable to remember a whole lot about my degree these days. I should surely be an expert on American history and literature, having studied them both in great detail for four years. I mostly blame the education system; that we learn and learn and learn in order to pass our exams, and then we do not retain the knowledge. You are taught far more about the style and technique required to write passable essays rather than the knowledge and information that should be going into them. I became well equipped to pad out my essays with the necessary turns-of-phrases. Just like my big brother, who would always go for 'on the other hand' rather than 'however', because four words instead of one got you far closer to the word count.
I partly blame myself; for allowing myself to slip into bad habits in order to pass exams, rather than fighting the system and actually ensuring that I learn. I should be proud of my degree result I am but I can't stop myself from occasionally thinking I could've done better.
However, or should I say on the other hand, I took things from my four years at university that are invaluable. I suppose it is a cliche, but I learnt important life lessons. I will always be glad and grateful that I did my degree; no, I may not be the expert in all things American that perhaps I could've been, but I would never change the experiences I had. Travelling to North Carolina for a study abroad year will always be one of my biggest achievements, and a clear winner (so far) of the acclaimed title of best. year. ever. Crediting myself with bringing "ya'll" and "awesome" to Scotland is something I am very proud of. Treasuring the relationships and friendships with some of the people I met there cannot be underestimated. Friendships that have in turn taken me to some wonderful places in the world, and I am blessed to have made these transatlantic connections.
There are many things that stick with me today - seven years after I hesitantly stepped foot into the Real World - from my time at university. And one of those, perhaps a silly example, pops into my mind occasionally, especially very recently.
During a walk on Gullane beach, a favourite of mine and Daves, we met with some terrifyingly Scottish weather. The wind and rain were behind us as we strolled; the wind louder every time my head turned slightly, the rain unfelt but heard, hitting the back of our jackets. We kept going, aware that the moment we turned for home we would be walking straight into this weather. Eventually, inevitably, that moment came. Still with our backs to Scotland's finest, we zipped every zip and fastened every button we could. Scarves were tightened, hats were pulled down firmly. A quick hug, then hands thrust into pockets as we turned.
The force of the wind in my face instantly brought to mind this quote from The Great Gatsby, and consequently all the thoughts in this post. I know it is a favoured quote of many.
And, by the way, my presentation went wonderfully.
"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
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