Putting the 'Author' into Authority

Slowly but surely I am getting back into the swing of routine...back to work, back to reality. However with plans in mind and things to look forward to I am hoping cold wet January passes with not too much trouble.

I have a lot on my mind and there is something about this time of year that often makes things seem bleaker than they are. When the evenings brighten up and the winter chill passes, it often becomes easier to feel more positive about life. I'm definitely guilty of letting seasonal changes affect my mood and temperament and sometimes it feels like a real battle to resist this. I think all you can do is keep focusing on what is ahead.

Something that came into question this week - amongst many other things - was the concept of authority. My authority, the authority of others, and the doubt and lack of trust I seem to have about my own authority. All too easily I can be convinced that what I am feeling is in some way wrong or incorrect. I've been trying recently to "own what I feel" rather than second guess my instincts or opinions. The problem lies in my deference to others and in turn their ability to rewrite or dictate my feelings and emotions.

My authority is in doubt. I doubt it. So how to get around this? Perhaps I need to work harder at putting the 'author' into authority. Only I can truly know what I feel. It's up to me to write my next chapter. I'm in charge.

So I'll again work harder at owning what I feel and not letting others dictate. Rather than deferring to the opinions - or more often limitations - of others, I will stand up for what I think. Even if what I think is somehow 'wrong' in their view, I will not yield to the judgement of others.

In an effort to put the author into authority I was even more determined to get out for a walk this weekend. I was all too aware that I had already broken my own promise to blog more often. I try to resist the urge to blog about my random thoughts and feelings, so quite often I'll go more than a week without knuckling down to blog. The more I walk, the more I have to write about.

With that in mind I had hoped to get out on the Borders Abbeys Way this weekend and complete at least one section of my remaining two. But with the weather forecast not looking too good, perhaps this wasn't the way to go. I knew I'd be beyond frustrated if I didn't get out at all. Over a pint of Jarl in the Golden Rule on Friday night (after a cracking performance of The Nutcracker ballet - no pun intended), Dave and I discussed our options. One of our 'go-to' walks is the Water of Leith, and quite a few times we've walked along the canal from our flat, down to the Water of Leith visitor centre at Slateford and then along the path all the way to Leith. A rewarding walk and a short bus journey home. Last summer we walked to the visitor centre and then up to Balerno for the first time, again taking the bus home. I knew the day would come when we'd complete the whole thing from Balerno to Leith - just shy of 13 miles.

Saturday was The Day. We awoke to blue skies and knew we'd chosen our day well. We took the 44 up to Balerno and set off at a blistering pace. The chilly but sunny day had encouraged many others out and about - everything from Saturday Strollers to New Year Resolution Runners, with Panting Pedallers keeping us on our toes. There were dogs aplenty, and even a few horses.

We rattled through the first four or five miles without even realising. We weren't in a hurry but the day was so nice and we both felt so appreciative to be out walking, the miles seemed to just fly by. I'd worn my boots to see how they coped with 13 miles of firm paths - knowing this would all be good preparation for the West Highland Way. Before we realised, we'd got to the great wee visitor centre at Slateford, made use of their facilities, donated to their great cause, and were almost at the half way mark.

By this point our pace had slowed slightly, although I know we were both keeping in mind the reward once we got to Leith. I was struggling a bit with my right leg, having tied one boot tighter than the other - I just can't seem to get this right. I put off sorting it - until I started getting pains in my right hip/pelvis and knew it was time to loosen that boot. The relief was instant and again it was a good lesson for longer walks to come - tie my boots right!

Soon we reached the home of Scottish Rugby.

I always forget how quickly Roseburn becomes the Dean Village, the Dean Village becomes Stockbridge, and Stockbridge becomes Broughton Street. Soon the signs were reading 'Leith 2 miles' and we were nearing our goal.

There were numerous diversions along the way but the Water of Leith Conservation Trust are doing a grand job in preservation and maintenance.

My hips were starting to get sore again - something that used to happen when I (used to) run, I think in part to do with the 'pounding' of the pavements. I couldn't help but think of the two 20 mile days that I'm going to come up against on the West Highland Way. At the 13 mile point (aka The End) I felt I could keep walking but I wouldn't find it very enjoyable. That being said, we hadn't eaten or drank anything in almost four hours (we hadn't taken water due to the lack of bathrooms along the way!), and I know this won't be the case on the WHW as I'll keep myself far more hydrated and refreshed - despite the lack of bathrooms! My hips were a bit sore but nothing drastic, and the balls of my feet would've had something more to say if I'd kept going. However, I was pleased to complete 13 miles and still feel good :)

I felt even better once I'd stepped over the threshold of Teuchters Landing! We'd taken three hours and fifty minutes to get there. My hands were so cold I could barely feel them and my fingers had swollen up - but somehow a cold pint was just what I needed :) Continuing my discovery of 2012 that craft beer really is the way forward, a pint of Brewdog's Punk IPA slipped down nicely...and kept slipping down...little did I realise at the cost of £5.25 a pint...!!

However the food always hits the spot there, and Haggis Stovies and Macaroni Cheese in mugs were just the right amount of carbs and protein we required. The chips were just a treat! With a fire on, very friendly service, dog and people watching, and Heineken Cup rugby on the TV, we were more than happy!

Our faces glowed with the achievement (hold on - that could've been coming in from the cold to the warmth...or the pints!) and our feet throbbed with the excitement of a rest.

By 8pm we were home, showered and almost asleep!

I'm so pleased to have finally completed this walk as a 'one-er', and plan to do again a couple of times at least for training purposes. It is such a pleasurable walk, full of ever-changing sights and sounds. There are always different things, people and activities to view, and it never feels repetitive.

As for putting the author into authority, I intend to grasp my pen in hand and boldly go where this Anxious Ambler has never been before...