I'm alarmed by just how quickly the days, weeks and months go by, and I find myself stuck in lethargic limbo. I feel frustrated that I'm not making the best of my time, that I should be walking more, that I'm becoming more and more unfit. I am happy that the days are getting longer, and lifted by the fact that Spring has sprung. However I can't just seem to shake off the negative feelings that crept up on me without me even realising.
It doesn't help that this weekend just gone marks a year since I set off on my West Highland Way adventure. I yearn to be back out there again; I yearn for that feeling of happiness, simplicity and achievement. Instead I wallow in nostalgia and the lethargy wins.
I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen...but what? What am I waiting for? It's up to me what happens next. I'm in charge.
But even trying to plan my next walk caused me frustration, as I hit a stumbling block that I can't yet find a solution for.
Perhaps I should be less hard on myself, to allow myself the time to reflect and be nostalgic. But for some reason I find myself rushing around like a headless stressed out chicken - but not actually getting much done.
I need to break this cycle somehow - and it's up to me to find out how.
In the meantime, I was delighted to get out this weekend and blow the cobwebs away with a fantastic local walk in the hills of Stow. It was a crisp, fresh day and I felt so much better for it. A simple thing, but it is amazing what the fresh air can do for you.
I am also breaking with routine this week, and heading off to County Wicklow later today. I'll be researching the Wicklow Way, and looking forward to a couple of days of walking on the trail later on in the week.
Perhaps I am chipping away at the cycle, breaking it piece by piece. I certainly hope so.
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