I really haven't gone on any exciting walks recently - every dog walk is exciting of course, and the miles certainly add up, but I haven't ventured far from the dog walk comfort zone.
I think this is because 'maranoia' has set in slightly - I'm terrified to do a Munro pre-marathon in case I hurt myself and can't run. Not sure if this is normal behaviour but getting to the 26 week point on my training plan has meant there is little else I can focus on right now...
This in turn makes devoting time to other projects rather difficult as I find I have constant 'marathon brain' and can only think/worry about the 27th of May. Life has started to revolve around this one day, this one challenge. I think running is a healthy obsession but I do seem to spend more time thinking and/or worrying about it than actually running!!
I do plan to get back to Munro-bagging this year, but probably after the end of May. I am looking forward to getting back to the hills and clearing my brain.
In some ways it serves me well to fixate about running even when I am not running. It stops me from fixating on other things, that generally are more pointless - where am I going with my life, what's next, etc. Although I wish I didn't worry about the running side of things, I'm a natural worrier, so it at least stops me worrying about all the terrible things that could happen.
Thinking about running all the time is quite healthy for me in many ways...although what will I think about after the 27th of May...will need a new challenge!
I'm always intrigued by what I think about when I am actually running. I do think about the past a fair bit - this is especially true when I run in the place I grew up, full of memories - but I often have a more positive outlook on the past than I do when I'm not running. For example I'll give myself credit for achievements I've made, people I've come into contact with, experiences I've had and lessons I've learnt. When I am not running I'll tend to ruminate more on mistakes I've made, what I should have done differently, and what I would change if I could.
I do think about the actual process of running, but I find I usually notice more aches and pains when I do this, and then can obsess about them - classic maranoia.
When the Inverness Half Marathon started, I had a pain at the top of my right foot. Perhaps I had tied my trainer too tightly? (Although I hadn't untied or retied them since my training runs). I said to Paula that I would have to stop at some point and adjust my laces. This was all in the first half mile or so. It really bothered me, but I also didn't want to stop. So I fixated about this pain for a while, worrying I was going to do myself a more serious injury by ignoring it, but still not wanting to stop. By mile 2 or 3, it was gone. God knows if it was tension or something else, or maybe I just stopped thinking about it and it went away? The mind is so incredibly powerful.
I have certainly been battling with negative thoughts whilst I've been running. This can be very run-dependent - some runs I feel on top of the world whereas others are just so difficult. On a 5 mile run last week I found myself battling hard with my own self-doubt and lack of confidence. I convinced myself I couldn't do a marathon.
By the time I was home I was already revising the run "oh it was fine, I enjoyed myself" etc. The endorphins really kick in and I can trick myself that self-doubt is not an issue for me. Wish I could manage this mid-run!
On my longer runs I have found listening to music such a big help. I have a very eclectic song selection on my phone and it's often the push I need to get up a hill or keep going when I want to stop. Some examples from my playlist:
Caberdrone - Peatbog Faeries (cracking song to start running to)
Born on a Horse - Biffy Clyro (to rock out to!)
Clash of the Ash - Runrig (really gees me up when the run is hard)
Don't Stop - Fleetwood Mac
Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
Don't Stop Movin' - S Club 7 (these three similarly titled songs do exactly what they say on the tin!)
Grease - Frankie Valli (just love this song)
Let Your Love Flow - Bellamy Brothers (because it was our first dance song and makes me think of our wedding!)
Sound of the Underground - Girls Aloud (the beat of this is my perfect running cadence)
You Give a Little Love - Bugsy Malone soundtrack (Dave & I's favourite film)
One Day More - Les Miserables soundtrack (another of my favourite musicals/films - less so for Dave)
This Is Me - The Greatest Showman soundtrack (recently discovered this film and its amazing soundtrack - love all the songs but this one really inspires me when I'm running)
You're the Voice - John Farnham (love this song)
Runnin' (Lose it All) - Beyonce & Naughty Boy (this song goes right back to when I started running at parkrun in August 2017, it would be in my head constantly when I got home from Vogrie, before the days of having a GPS watch and excitedly checking my email to get my result!)
I have around 100 songs on my playlist, a right old mix of cheesy classics, songs from the musicals, Scottish bands and whatever else floats my boat at any particular time.
My plan is to reward myself with music around the 15 mile mark of the Edinburgh Marathon, depending on how I am getting on. I want to be able to soak up the surrounding noise and atmosphere of the supporters, but at the same time I know my music will really help me when I have to dig deep.
I can't believe there are fewer than four weeks to go before taking to the start line....for info, I'll be wearing number 14058.
This week I've hardly done any running at all. But I have massively increased my vitamin D intake...I've been in the south of France visiting my brother and sister-in-law. But best of all, I have met my beautiful baby nephew Matthew for the first time. A life enhancing week that has given me much more than any run can (although I did manage a 7 mile jog along the coast at Juan Les Pins and a 3 mile jog in Vallauris. Back to the training plan this week!).
I am excited and terrified at the prospect of running a marathon in one month's time. But I have raised over £2000 for a very worthy cause indeed (www.justgiving.com/helen-runs-edinburgh-marathon) and that support will get me from the start line to the finish.
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