It doesn't feel real - although my achy legs are constantly reminding me that it actually did happen! It's quite hard to condense all my thoughts and emotions into a coherent blog post so I thought I'd just try to write about the day itself. In another post I'll write about my training and the runs that led up to the 27th May - I followed a 30 week training plan so the Edinburgh Marathon has been a big part of my life for many months!
The week of the marathon was fraught with nerves and anxiety - only comparable to the week before I got married. My days off were the worst as I struggled to stop myself obsessing over everything marathon-related. I suffered from really bad maranoia - believing I was injured, losing my fitness, and doubting every decision that was now too late to change. I ran 8 miles prior to the marathon - 5 miles on the Monday and 3 on Wednesday. Both runs felt horrible and painful - I had aches and pains I'd never felt before, and was convinced my trainers were hindering rather than helping me. I didn't sleep well at all and thought I was getting a cold.
On the plus side, I ate well all week - every meal involved fish and carbs - and kept really hydrated. As the week went on my anxiety got better rather than worse, as I kept myself busier. I exhibited at an event in Galashiels and that kept my mind occupied and relatively marathon-free. I rested loads on Friday and Saturday, and had a pretty chilled Saturday evening complete with fish pie and chips whilst watching The Greatest Showman!
I felt nervous when I woke up on Sunday, but felt ready too. Well, as ready as I would ever be - I had done the training, the resting, the planning, the thinking, the eating, the drinking - what more could I have done? I was ready!
On went the Body Glide, the Vaseline on the toes, the suncream, and the ibuprofen gel. I felt very sick trying to eat breakfast but managed to keep it down (eating porridge whilst trying not to vomit is a challenge!).
We left the house at 8.05am and it was already warm and sunny in the Borders. Whilst I'd been really worried about the weather being too hot, I had come to terms with the fact that I would just have to run slowly and drink plenty of water. I was happy it would be a rain-free marathon - not a guarantee in Scotland on any day! However as we headed north towards Edinburgh, we drove straight into the haar and freezing fog - the car said 8 degrees. Thankfully I had a layer I could discard before the start.
Dave dropped me off near Summerhall at 8.45am and headed to Shawfair with Tig to get the train to Waverley. I strolled to George Square, absolutely freezing and the nerves were building. In hindsight I had far too much time to hang around at the start, but I couldn't have coped with the stress of running late, so it was probably better for my sanity to get there in plenty of time!
I think the new start of the Edinburgh Marathon at the uni is great (not that I have anything to compare it to!). There was plenty of room so it never felt too crowded, and having access to the uni buildings meant we could stay warm and dry with good toilet facilities. I never had to use a portaloo - bonus! It was also a great trip down memory lane for me having studied at Edinburgh University - these buildings held some interesting memories of my time at uni. To start a marathon opposite the place I graduated - Macewan Hall - was very special!
I was unbelievably nervous waiting for the start. I joined the purple pen (the last one) at around 9.40am which turned out to be 40 minutes before I'd actually start running. I really wanted to talk to someone to keep the nerves at bay but everyone around me was in the zone or with friends/family, so I just fidgeted away and tried to keep warm - it was absolutely freezing!
As 10am came and went, we started to move slowly towards the start line, alongside George Square, past Appleton Tower, and up towards Potterrow. I was so grateful to the girl that actually spoke to me at that point - we didn't get each other's names but she was also running her first marathon and we chatted about our nerves and our hopes for the day. It was just what I needed! As we edged closer to the start line I took my layer off, got the Garmin ready, and tried not to be sick!
All of a sudden I was running. The months and months of building up to this very moment and it had arrived. I was crossing the start line of my first marathon. I now had hours of running ahead of me...
I was so glad of the freezing fog at this point - of course it was a real shame not to see the beautiful sights of Edinburgh's Old Town, but I was so glad of the cooler weather. I knew Mum and Ross were on Forrest Road so it was great to see them as I got underway, complete with a 'Go Helen' sign with the Myositis UK logo. I had no idea how much of a difference family support on the route would make but it really did!
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| Princes St Gardens |
We ran along George IV Bridge, down the Mound and into Princes Street Gardens. The crowds were pretty decent and people were cheering my name - another thing I was so grateful for, having my name on my top! We ran under the Scott Monument and I took a moment to think about all the times we climbed to the top as children. Onto Waverley Bridge, Market Street, Jeffrey Street and down the Royal Mile. I knew Dave and Tig were opposite the Scottish Parliament, but poor Dave didn't see me coming so I had to shout on him!
Then a cruel wee right turn on Queen's Drive, and a weird loop to double back on ourselves and run under Arthur's Seat past St Margaret's Loch. Then I was in unknown territory - well, I recognised some of the roads but I didn't really know where I was until I got to Portobello! The city part of the marathon was over quickly, but I was glad to be taking in new sights and sounds, and tried to soak it all up.
My plan was to keep it slow and steady, and I was aiming for 10-something minute miles as consistently as possible. My 20 mile training run had been a very humbling experience when I realised just how difficult 10 minute miles were over a long distance. I was pleased that I managed to start slow and steady, and kept that up pretty much the whole way (stats at the end!).
The atmosphere was fantastic, with lots of people out cheering and great support from the race crew. The water stations were perfect (although I did find myself getting thirsty between them at times, but every three miles was regular enough I think). On that subject, the only problem I had and the only thing that didn't quite go 'perfectly' for me, was bladder-related. I needed a pee from the moment I crossed the start line, despite going three times before joining the pen. I'm sure it was the nerves - the bladder is a mirror of the brain after all. No problem, I thought, I'll head to the first portaloo I see. However there was a queue of around 10-15 people at the first set of portaloos, and I couldn't face stopping and waiting that early. So I thought I'd carry on to the next ones - same problem! I knew I had two options - stop and queue, or run in mild discomfort for as far as possible. However I got lucky - just after Tumbles Soft Play at Portobello there are public toilets, and I spotted a few runners heading that way with no sign of a queue - perfect! I jogged across, didn't stop my watch, took a few minutes out and felt a million times better - I was relieved!
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| My detour to the public toilets! |
I was also really lucky that around this time I'd checked my phone and spotted a text from my Uncle Colin saying they were near Tumbles. It was fantastic to see him, Gwen and Mel there to cheer me on, what a boost it gave me!
Just after this I met my friend Amanda who lives in Portobello, she'd come to see me and she jogged with me down Portobello promenade - it was brilliant! A great distraction and yet again it made all the difference having the support of others.
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| Photo Amanda took! |
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| Amanda just visible in blue on the left! |
The next few miles passed fairly uneventfully - I had a few niggles that I just tried to ignore. My left knee twinged now and again, and my toes were nippy at times. But I channelled Andrew's advice when it comes to marathons - it is mind over matter. I channelled my own motto/mantra that used to get me through 3 mile runs when I started - one foot in front of the other. If I could keep putting one foot in front of the other, that would get me to the next water station. I broke it down into running between water stations, or running parkruns - I counted them down from nine. I took in my surroundings and enjoyed seeing new places, including Fisherrow and Musselburgh Racecourse.
The route stayed with the coast for most of the way. One of the things I found a bit mentally tough was seeing brightly coloured runners a long way in the distance along the coast - at those points I just tried to look the other way!
I can't remember now where I saw him but my cousin Colin was out on the route and seeing him was another huge boost!
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| Photo Colin took of me disappearing - maybe between miles 13 & 14? |
The pockets of support along the way were immense - from bands playing, to kids offering high fives, to folk enjoying their bank holiday weekend cheering on the runners (the group of folk playing the Vengaboys were legends!). People cheered my name and told me to keep smiling. Folk were handing out sweets, ice lollies and gin and tonics - although I took none of the above! I stuck to my gels, one every five miles with the last one being at 20 miles as I was confident it would take me to the finish. The only 'unpracticed' thing I did take was an orange slice around the 22 mile mark and it was delicious!!
I saw Mum, Ross, Dave and Tig at mile 16 near Longniddry (forgot to mention I'd seen them at Musselburgh too - amazing!), then I put my headphones in and music on to get me through the next 6-7 miles or so. I kept the volume low so I could still take in the noises of my surroundings, and any cheering, but I found the music really helped distract me from any pains or negative thinking. I started with 'This Is Me' from The Greatest Showman because it's just such an amazing song, and brilliant to run to! One of my highlights was hearing Gangnam Style - you can't not smile when you hear it. I ended with 'Hold On' by Wilson Phillips because the words are perfect to motivate me when the going gets tough; I think it was around mile 24 I put my headphones away.
Once I was past the house I did find the next section quite challenging. Whilst the tracks were a welcome change from the tarmac, I found the loose stones tricky to run on. I actually wanted to get back to the road, so this section felt long and a bit tiresome.
I stumbled upon a great blog with a race report of Edinburgh and Hannah summed this section up so well I had to screenshot it:
Once back on the road I was heading back on the out and back - this was a great feeling! It was slightly undulating at times, but I have to say I didn't really notice. All my training runs were very hilly (with the exception of the treadmill ones and the seven mile run in Juan les Pins in the south of France), to the point where I was completely scunnered by running up hills. The Edinburgh Marathon is predominantly flat with just a few inclines - thankfully these were hassle free - a joy after all those hilly training runs.
I wasn't sure if my cheer team was still going to be near Longniddry or if they had headed to the finish, but I was delighted to see them again at the 19 mile mark. I felt myself tear up a wee bit - I knew I was heading towards the hardest part of the run. My legs knew what they were doing, my feet kept going - one in front of the other - but my mind knew that I was getting closer to the finish, and that's where it started to get trickier. Once I was past the 20 mile mark, I knew I had an hour of running left to go - just two parkruns. I took my last gel and prepared to dig deep. I hadn't hit the wall yet but it was definitely starting to get tougher.
The last six miles were definitely the hardest but I was proud that I managed to keep my pace going and that I still had something left in the tank. I think I could have run faster earlier in the marathon but I would've paid for it in these last six miles. With every mile marker I told myself it would be just 10 minutes until the next one. I dared to dream - just forty more minutes of running and I'll have finished this marathon, just thirty more minutes, just twenty minutes...I counted it down and it got me to 24 miles.
The crowds were starting to get bigger in the final two miles, and the sun started to come out (although it never felt too hot, the coastal breezes were perfect!). I had a weird mental block at mile 25 trying to figure out whether this meant I had one more mile to go or two - I couldn't for the life of me work it out! Thankfully I figured out it was one more - and it went by so quickly! The crowd got me home and I lapped up their attention - everyone who cheered for me or called my name got me there. I even saw my cousin Fraser unexpectedly - that was cool!
Then all of a sudden I passed a mile marker that said 26 - TWENTY SIX! - and I gave it all I had to put in a strong fast finish. I felt absolutely incredible! I think these next photos were taken as I was about to turn the last corner - this was the only (I think) photographer that I genuinely wasn't aware of (you can possibly tell from my race photos that I absolutely milked every opportunity to get good shots - I went in with the attitude that whether this is my only marathon or not, it will always be my first marathon, and I wanted to make the most of it. I wanted as many good photos as I could get - and I got 42 very cheesy ones but I love them!). I spotted my big brother Andrew on the corner - the reason I was even running this marathon! - along with Ross and Uncle Colin, and this was my reaction:
I had had some great advice from Alun prior to the marathon which I absolutely took at this moment (in fact took it for the whole race!):
This is a moment I will never ever forget.
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| This isn't even all of them! |
I thought I'd be an emotional wreck when I crossed the finish line (after the Inverness Half Marathon I cried for over half an hour after I finished!) but I wasn't too bad. I shed a couple of tears, and shared congratulations with the people who'd finished around me. I think I just couldn't really compute what had just happened! Four and a half hours of running had flown by!
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| Pretty consistent mile splits - the early 9 minute-something ones were presumably on the downhill! The 11:19 was the toilet stop! |
I collected my medal (beautiful medal!) and got a handshake from the young air cadet volunteer who handed me my (also beautiful) finisher's box complete with t-shirt.
I then headed to the reunion point and chatted with a lovely couple who were waiting for their daughter, before finally spotting Mum and Dave not too far away. Hugs all round, then we met up with Dad and my inlaws, before getting the whole group together as Ross, Uncle Colin and Andrew made their way across from that final corner. Seeing Andrew and getting a hug was incredibly emotional, a moment I'll never forget.
We found a spot on the grass to sit and have a picnic - the weather was now really nice, and I was glad it hadn't been this warm to run in! Perfect conditions - cold to start and for much of it, sunny at the finish.
I thought I'd be really hungry but actually didn't feel too bad - pork pies and salty crisps went down a treat though, as did the prosecco after a month off the booze! It was lovely spending time with everyone and reliving as much of it as I could remember.
I thought I'd immediately say 'never again' but I didn't feel that way at all. I know I need a wee break from training but I would absolutely love to run another marathon, purely for that incredible feeling upon completion!
Everything came together on the day, and in the days following the marathon I've found myself saying 'I was so lucky' - but I know I'm doing myself a disservice here. There was no luck about it. I trained for 30 weeks, and practiced 'race day running' as much as I could in my long runs leading up to 27th May. I obsessed over every detail, and read so much about running in the months prior. Although I spent many of my training runs with negative thoughts, telling myself I couldn't do it, I actually spent much of the marathon telling myself I COULD. The conditions were great, but not everyone would love the cold at the start, the chilly sea haar or the coastal breezes - I did, I was so relieved it wasn't hot! I hydrated and ate properly and I felt good. There was no luck about it, I put in the hard work! So I'm giving myself credit for that, rather than telling myself it was a fluke.
They say that the training is the marathon and the day itself is the party - it felt like that for me. So many of my training runs I would come back and say to Dave "I can't wait to just run for fun again" - "I can't wait to just run a parkrun a week and that's it" - "I'm so scunnered with running" - "I don't even like running". Now I know that the training was the tough battle, and the marathon was the culmination - and celebration - of all of that hard work. So that when I crossed the line I thought "I want to do that all over again!" - "It was so worth all the effort"
They say that the marathon is as much a mental battle as a physical, often more so. It took me to mile 24 to genuinely believe I was going to finish it, but for the full four hours and thirty-three minutes I did feel strong and I did feel capable. I felt good and I gave it my absolute best. And I really enjoyed it! I'm so happy it was such a positive experience!
I've raised just shy of £5000 for Myositis UK which is incredible - I'm so pleased to have been able to support a small charity in this way.
The days following were certainly a struggle; my quads were the sorest of all. Going down stairs or any incline at all was really tough and involved a waddle. But aside from my aching muscles, my brain finally felt at ease. I had proved something to myself that I hadn't believed possible. This gives me something to build confidence on, to always remember when I am doubting my capabilities. I will always be able to say - I ran a marathon.
One regret I had was missing out on a pint of Stewart's Edinburgh Marathon Ale at the finish line - I'd so been looking forward to this, then totally forgot! So Dave and I headed to Gala on Monday to enjoy the sunshine and a well-earned pint!
To end this epic blog post, the quotes that feature on my Edinburgh Marathon medal, and goody box. Two quotes that really sum this whole experience up for me:
"Great things never came from comfort zones"
"The miracle isn't that I finished.
The miracle is that I had the courage to start."
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