Monday 12 November 2018

Running my second marathon - Nice Cannes 2018

I ran another marathon!

Running two in just over five months wasn't entirely my plan for this year...but I'm so proud to say I've done it.

Having trained for nine months for the Edinburgh Marathon and then having the most amazing experience running it, I found myself at a loss during the summer with no event to train for. I also didn't want to lose the fitness I had gained. However I mentally wasn't ready to sign up for another marathon (it's a huge commitment!) and in July I wrote about my struggles to get back into enjoying running post-marathon: anxious-ambler.blogspot.com/2018/07/june-and-july-parkrunning-and-family-fun.html

By August I was tentatively 'in training' again. Dave and I had booked flights to go out to France to visit my brother Colin, sister-in-law and baby nephew in November, and the timing coincided (deliberately!) with the 11th Nice to Cannes marathon (or Marathon Des Alpes-Maritime to give it its official title). However it took me a while to actually commit and enter the marathon (I swithered about doing the two person half marathon event instead). Eventually I plucked up the courage, knowing I'd regret not giving it a go. Colin had already entered the full marathon, so we could spur each other on - although he was planning to run a time a full hour faster than me!

As with Edinburgh I was very nervous about a lot of things - again the weather was a concern, again I worried it would be too hot for me. However I did also find myself feeling strangely relaxed and calm; my training had gone well - despite my first running fall (I took a painful tumble on a run round Loch Leven), my runs had generally gone well. My pace had increased and I felt fitter than ever before. I felt a sense of confidence that I hadn't had before Edinburgh - now I knew I could do it because I'd done it before!

On arrival in Nice on Thursday 1st November we went along to the Expo - something I'd never experienced before. It was a bit overwhelming to be honest and made it all seem so real!


In the days prior to the marathon we chilled out and spent valuable time with family. My nephew Matthew had just started crawling so we had lots of fun chasing him around the house. We did have a few restless nights however he was very good the night before the marathon I have to say!
My alarm went off at 5am on Sunday 4th November and I was nervous. Not as nervous as Edinburgh but definitely apprehensive about the day ahead. I had some porridge Colin had cooked, but somehow ran out of time to eat my bagel. And more disastrously - ran out of time to go to the toilet before we left the house! No problem, I thought at the time, I'll go before the start...

Emma kindly drove us to Golfe Juan where we caught the 6.30am train to Nice - at each stop more and more runners got on, and the nerves continued to build. Colin tried to point out various places we'd run past in a few hours time but it was still dark. Given the train took over half an hour, I realised quite how far this run would be!
(A really cool 3D route map here: http://www.marathon06.com/2018/AN/infospratiques/parcoursetprofils.htm)

Sadly when we got to Nice we made a few wrong decisions when it came to potential toilet stops (including nearly getting locked in a bathroom with a rapidly overflowing and thus unusable toilet - horrible!!), and by the time we got near the start, the portaloo queues were excessive and we didn't have time to wait. The toilet situation unfortunately really lets this marathon down - nowhere near enough, particularly at the start, but also on the route. This had a massive impact on me - physically and mentally. When I got into my start pen about 5/10 minutes before the start at 8am, I didn't feel great and I was concerned.

I stood near the 4 hours 30 minutes pacer, but kept a distance as he had a crowd of folk all around him. Despite not understanding most of the pre-race build up, there was a goosebumps moment when La Marseillaise was played. I felt nervous for Colin too - injury had prevented him from training as much as he wanted to, but he was up there with the 3.30 pacer and I knew I'd just have to wait until I got to Cannes to find out how he was.

A very lovely Irish man called Kevin came to chat to me before the start which I really appreciated - he was running the first half and his partner was running the second. The Nice Cannes Marathon offers a two person team option as well as a six person relay option which seemed really popular (11,220 runners in total - 6356 doing the full marathon, 2188 doing the halfs, and 446 relay teams of 6). We all had different coloured race numbers to distinguish who was doing what - very handy to remember whenever a relay runner seemed to sprint off!

It only took me 5 minutes to cross the start line, a big - and very welcome - difference from the 20 minutes it took me at Edinburgh. At that point you just want to get underway, so I really appreciated how quickly it happened. It helped that runners filled both sides of the road, not joining up until a few miles had gone by (I think - can't really remember!).

Despite it being a cloudy day, the first 6 miles or so felt very warm. I cursed my choice of t-shirt as it felt heavy and hot. At each water stop I poured water over my head and chucked some in my face. I felt very un-glamorous next to the female French runners!

I had originally felt critical of the Edinburgh Marathon not having pacers, but I feel totally differently now. I set off at a steady pace, knowing mile splits starting with the number 10 would see me to roughly a 4.30 marathon like how Edinburgh had panned out. However, the 4.30 pacer shot off into the distance, and I felt hugely demoralised. How can they be running that fast I thought. I tried to tell myself to stick to my plan, go easy and not try to chase them down. If I went too quickly at the start I'd regret it later. But it played heavily on my mind, as my original thought had been to stay near the pacer.
My pacing was pretty steady but my stomach was anything but. I knew I'd have to stop for the toilet somewhere, but they were few and far between. The first part of the marathon takes you along the Promenade des Anglais, then out past Nice Airport and into Saint-Laurent-Du-Var and Cagnes-Sur-Mer. I was barely taking anything in though, as I just kept thinking about having to stop. Ironically around the 9 mile mark I started to feel like I was really getting into my stride. I also caught up with the 4.30 pace group - although typically as I caught them up, I saw the pacer check his watch and speed up!

I had clocked two portaloos with no queue on the other side of a short-ish out-and-back section, so I decided I'd stop there when the time came. Typically there were two women waiting when I got there, but I decided I'd commit to waiting. I watched the 4.30 pacer and group disappear into the distance and *spoiler alert* I never saw them again. 
I waited what felt like an age, and weirdly as I got into the portaloo my watch beeped for 10 miles - and my mile split was 13.45 due to the wait. Safe to say I was pretty gutted, compounded by the fact that the stop did nothing to make me feel better. I felt more panicked when I left the portaloo, and had to give myself a real talking to to try and stop myself sprinting off to chase the pacer.

Mentally and physically I did not get this marathon right. From 10 miles onwards I was on a downwards spiral, suffering and struggling. There were moments I felt stronger - mile splits at 12, 16 and 17 all started with a 9 - but they were fleeting. My stomach never settled, although I thankfully managed to take my gels at roughly 5 mile intervals without too much trouble.

The other issue I had was with mosquito bites - I'd been bitten the day before whilst strolling in Golfe Juan. The bites were right on my ankles, therefore they rubbed against my trainers and itched really badly. When I finally got my trainers off at the end of the marathon, both ankles were swollen.  At least they gave me an occasional distraction from my stomach!

There was a really tough section along the coast coming towards Antibes. It was very exposed and windy and cold. I was grateful of my warmer t-shirt now!
The last photo I managed to take!
Thankfully I knew I'd see Dave, Emma and Matthew at Antibes. This thought kept me going for a long time. Unfortunately the support on the route was pretty terrible - perhaps I was spoiled by how good it was at Edinburgh. The spectators in this part of the world seem to be fair-weather supporters, and tend to cheer for who they know, not the rest of the runners. I'd observed this at the Cannes Triathlon when we'd been out in April, but I was hopeful the marathon would be different. I'd had my name printed on my t-shirt to make the cheering easier - only one person in 26.2 miles called it out!

I don't mean to be so negative, but I found the lack of support soul-destroying. I felt incredibly lonely out there. The marathon is such a mental battle and this made me feel even worse about the whole endeavour. Why was I actually doing this?

Anyway, thank goodness for my cheer squad at the halfway point!

I actually cried when I saw them - not for the first or last time in this marathon! I really wanted to stop and ask them how Colin was, but I would've cried too much and been too tempted to pull out all together! I later found out Colin was a bit emotional when he saw them too.

Then I was on my own again. Some of the toughest sections came at the Antibes stage, with a few small but tricky inclines, and here I felt the full force of the headwind. I felt I was going backwards at times running into that wind. I have to say it made it incredibly tough - but on the flip-side there were a number of sections with a tailwind that made a huge difference to spirits!

It was near Antibes I saw my first official photographer - another thing I found lacking in this marathon, although to be honest it's probably for the best as I couldn't crack a smile anyway! Needless to say I didn't buy any of my photos, so you'll have to make do with these poor quality screenshots, but they prove I did manage a thumbs up somehow!

The rest is a bit of a blur I have to say - it was a case of putting my head down, gritting my teeth and getting on with it. I lost my form entirely, so I started getting sore much earlier in the marathon. I put my tunes on at mile 16, but even my cheesiest, most motivational songs couldn't make a difference to the mindset I was in. I considered calling it a day and pulling out - but because of the linear nature of the marathon, and my support team being at the end in Cannes, I knew I'd just have to get there. I accepted that my time would be slower than Edinburgh, and the main priority now was just to get to the finish, one way or another.

The route eventually left Antibes (such a long section!) and took us along the sea front of Juan Les Pins - I'd run here back in April and enjoyed it, but of course - whine whine whine - this was just a struggle and a shuffle.

My pace really slowed after 20 miles - mile splits at 21, 22 and 23 all started with an 11. I was really grinding it out here, wishing it was over.

After a tough incline leaving Golfe Juan, a joyful downhill section - complete with a joyful tailwind - took us into the outskirts of Cannes. I was so glad I was nearly done!

Of course there was one last sting in the tail for this marathon. Once the route turns onto Boulevard de la Croisette, essentially the finishing straight, we were right back into the headwind with over a kilometre to go. It's such a long, soul-destroying finish, and at no point can you actually see the finish line. The increase in crowd numbers is the only clue - and thankfully these spectators were actually cheering all the runners in! I upped my pace but it seemed to go on forever. When will the suffering be over?!

Eventually I spotted Dave and Colin in the crowd on the left, and managed to high-five them before eventually crossing the finishing line: https://www.marathon-photos.com/scripts/event.py?event=Sports/CPUK/2018/Marathon%20des%20Alpes-Maritimes&match=5125&name=Helen&new_search=1

I felt utterly broken! But so glad it was over. And I repeated the thought I'd had for the last few hours - never again. The first thing I did was reply to a text from Mum and I said 'never again and I mean it'. I couldn't figure out why I'd just put myself through that pain and misery!

After the finish line there's a long funnel where you collect your medal, t-shirt and various items of food and drink. I was weeping and other runners were hugging me and trying to reassure me in French. I just kept saying 'never again, never again' and they would laugh. I didn't have the mindset to appreciate it at that point, but the medal and t-shirt are really good. Still, it's a long way to go for a medal and a t-shirt right?!

I met up with Dave at the finish and he tried to get me away from the crowds as I don't like being surrounded by people. It didn't help my panic or emotions. I asked him how Colin was - he had been going really well and sticking with the 3.30 pace group until he cramped at mile 22 and struggled from there. He finished with a PB though, 3.36, an amazing achievement given how tough training had been! I was so proud - and relieved!

I couldn't find that pride for myself though - I was gutted. I really thought I would run a faster time than Edinburgh - I know time doesn't matter, and 26.2 miles is 26.2 miles no matter what time you run it in - but I personally felt after the training cycle I'd had, I had a faster time in me than my 4.33.51. Not massively so, just closer to the 4.30 mark. I probably assumed that marathon number two would be an 'improvement' on marathon number one, that I'd naturally run faster because I knew what I was doing this time. I know how wrong this is now, and I also know that I just had a bad day. I had a really good day on 27th of May in Edinburgh - everything went right for me on the day - and on the 4th of November in France I had a bad day.
(According to Garmin, my 'moving time' was actually 4.32.21 but I know it's chip time that counts!)

I also quite like the symmetry that Colin and I have the same time - in minutes anyway :)

This marathon was a huge learning curve for me. I was incredibly negative afterwards, and still feel emotionally drained when I revisit how those 26.2 miles actually felt at the time. However, eight days later I see it for what it is - an incredible achievement that I am so very proud of. I managed to finish it despite the odds that were against me, and in a time not too far off my PB. It's easy for me to pick over the details and beat myself up for getting it 'wrong', but I finished a marathon, so I actually got it very right.

My 'never again' has now changed to 'sometime in the future - but not anytime soon'. I really do need a break from thinking about, training for, and running a marathon. I want to enjoy my running and run for fun - my next big goal is get to the milestone of 50 parkruns, and also 10 volunteer stints - I'm on course for this to happen on the 1st and 8th of December.

So I'm looking back on the Marathon Des Alpes-Maritime with kinder eyes and more positivity. It was an absolutely beautiful route, with stunning coastline, mountain views and pretty villages. The conditions were tough given the headwind, but it was dry, not too hot, and with a helpful tailwind at times. It is a very well organised marathon, with lots of goodies to take away. The volunteers were helpful and friendly, and the expo was an experience. My major criticism is of the lack of toilets - it's something every runner needs at the start of a marathon and there simply weren't enough. I later learned that this marathon was comprised of 74% men and 26% women, and I'd say the toilet situation reflected that!

I loved sharing this experience with Colin; this was his fourth marathon and I'd missed his first three, and I know he would've liked to be in Edinburgh for my first. We were both so lucky to have the support of Dave, Emma and Matthew, and I know they got us through the tough times out there.

Dave and Emma's amazing support continued once we got home (after hitching a lift with a Kurdish local - but that's another story!), as they cooked up a storm and we were treated to a fry-up complete with Irn Bru. The perfect post-marathon sustenance, thanks guys! Sharing the experience with my nephew was also really special.



My quads were very sore for a few days after the marathon, but I was lucky to survive with my toenails intact and not a blister to be seen. My mozzie bites were annoying but bearable.

We travelled back to Scotland on Tuesday the 6th of November, and I struggled with the many downstairs we had to navigate on our way round Nice, Gatwick and Edinburgh airports. It took me all of last week to shake off the fatigue, and today is really the first day I've started to feel 'normal' again. I tailwalked at Vogrie parkrun on Saturday, knowing that running it six days after the marathon would've been a mistake! I'm looking forward to visiting the new Peebles parkrun this weekend, and then focusing on getting to 50 in early December. I'll stick with running just parkrun for now, and let myself fully recover before I do any more running than that.

Mentally I have put myself back together, and thankfully feel far more positive about the experience than I did before. But marathon number three will not be happening any time soon...!

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