I like to write a 'yearly review' blog post to look back on the year that has past, and look forward to the year ahead.
(I've done this every year: 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017)
I started 2018 feeling quite positive about the year ahead, after a challenging but transformative 2017. In many ways 2018 was even tougher, bringing some tough times and some unique challenges. But I feel I'm in a better place because of these challenges, and look forward to seeing what 2019 will bring with my new found wisdom 😄
I wrote the following at the end of my 2017 round up, looking ahead to 2018:
I do feel positive about the year ahead. There are plans in place and amazing adventures on the cards. In a few months I will have a newborn niece or nephew, and I'm looking forward to a trip to France to meet baby! In July Dave and I will head to Copenhagen to see our nephew Arran compete in the RaceRunning Championships.
I have some big goals, which I'm not ready to say (or write!) just yet. I also have some targets - I'd love to reach 50 Munros, a target I didn't reach in 2017. I also would love to get to 50 Parkruns and bag my first of the free 'milestone' t-shirts!
Aside from that, I wish for a happy, healthy year for all my family and friends. 2017 brought some unique challenges and no doubt 2018 will have a few twists and turns along the way...
~
I'm really chuffed that I managed most of the goals I set out to achieve, with two notable exceptions: - I didn't manage to bag any Munros in 2018
- I didn't manage my 30th blood donation due to illness, so am currently on 29 and looking forward to reaching 30 pints!
Aside from that, I achieved far more than I actually thought I was capable of. That's what 2018 taught me - I'm stronger than I think I am.
The big theme of 2018 was RUNNING. When I started this blog way back in 2011, it was to document my progress in bagging Scotland's highest mountains, and trying to conquer my anxiety demons along the way. Interestingly I have found that running has done wonders for my mental health - I really noticed the impact of this in 2018. This doesn't mean that I will not aim to bag all of Scotland's Munros in my lifetime - it just means that they haven't been the priority for a number of reasons. My blog certainly seems to have lost some support out here in the 'virtual' world due to this change, although perhaps that's partly due to the fact I am blogging less (only managing once a month in 2018). Life has got in the way of Munro trips - money worries, car issues, work schedules, lack of confidence...it just hasn't happened for a variety of reasons. I'm not going to give myself a hard time about this. The Munros will always be there. I need to make sure I'm in the best possible place - physically, mentally, and just in life - to get to the top of them.
This blog will continue to focus on my running, in particular my parkrun journey, as well as life 'stuff' that's going on too. It's basically my online diary and even if it had no readers, I would still write it for my own wellbeing. That being said, I appreciate each and every one of you who reads it!
Bizarrely, I started 2018 with a massive panic attack, the worst I've ever experienced. We were staying in an old house on the shores of Loch Awe: A trip to the west was the perfect way to end such an interesting year. Six Scots, five Germans, three kids and one dog stayed in old former hunting lodge on Loch Awe, bringing in 2018 with plenty of food, drink, fresh air and even a wee loony dook. We saw in the New Year with sparklers and merriment, and it was a great evening. I wasn't feeling too well so went to bed, waking up a few hours later in the pitch black not having a clue where I was. I couldn't breathe, I felt claustrophobic, disorientated and extremely dehydrated (I'd been on a run earlier that day followed by a long walk, and just hadn't eaten or drunk enough to recover from that!). Thank god Dave was with me to see me through the next hour or so, and talk/reassure me out of it. I never told anyone else about this panic attack - to be honest it really scared me.
So not a great way to kick off the year! After a day of recovery on January 1st, we started the year more properly on the 2nd - with a swim in Loch Awe! Dave, Gibson and I donned our wetsuits and swam out to Innis Chonnell to explore the ruins of an old castle. It was incredible! I'm not a whisky fan but I greatly needed a wee dram to warm up once we were back on dry land!
I returned to work, starting a part time job with NHS Borders, which I've found challenging but enjoyable. It's been a real wake up call to me, and is often a reminder to be grateful for everything I have in my life - the struggles of many I have encountered is incredibly humbling.
January also brought snow, cancelled parkruns, trips to the gym, dog walks and fresh air. I wrote my first blog post (not including my round up of 2017) in early February, and clearly I was still struggling a bit with the challenges of the business failing and the winter months: anxious-ambler.blogspot.com/2018/02/keep-calm-and-carry-on
February was a very similar month to January in terms of my mental health, feeling low and struggling to find the positives. Although I was marathon training, I was keeping this a secret from everyone but Dave, so I didn't talk about it with anyone. I did have a great training run round Loch Leven with Paula, the furthest either of us had run, and great training for our first half marathon in March. The last day of February also saw the arrival of the 'Beast from the East'.
March arrived with a lot of snow! We made the most of the opportunities to get out and get some fresh air, whilst battling through 18 inches of snow!
I wrote about the snow fun and the half marathon here: anxious-ambler.blogspot.com/2018/03/feel-fear-and-do-it-anyway
March was a great month - but perhaps that was because it started with the arrival of my nephew Matthew on the 4th! Such a wonderful addition to the family, he has brought us all such joy.
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| In time for some of the Six Nations games! |
I wrote a blog post whilst out in France with a running update, with just a month to go until the Edinburgh Marathon: anxious-ambler.blogspot.com/2018/04/mindful-running-music-and-marathon-brain
May brought a ton of marathon-related anxiety, but I managed to complete my longest run of 20 miles on the 5th of May, a hot day, finishing with a dip in Loch Leven to ease my sore legs!
I did a craft fayre in May too, which was a good distraction from the marathon. But honestly, the month of May was about the Edinburgh Marathon, my first marathon. And I really enjoyed it! It was an emotional day - I had worked so hard to get to this point - and I was so chuffed that Andrew was well enough to come and support. This had seemed impossible just weeks earlier, but he had worked so hard too, and the improvements were starting to show. After seven or so months being nil by mouth and fed through a stomach PEG, he was starting to push his boundaries by trying to eat again. The improvements came with an increase in weight, sleeping better, and having more energy. And the improvements have continued ever since, thankfully.
But the day of the marathon was the first day I'd seen him up, out and about in a long time - and it meant so much. He was the main reason I was running my first marathon - a reminder to us all that the future, and our health, isn't something we can take for granted. My JustGiving page reached £5200 for Myositis UK, an incredible testament to Andrew.
June was certainly a month of recovery, and winding down. I wasn't enjoying my running so much post-marathon, but did love a spot of parkrun tourism, visiting Lochore Meadows and Chelmsford Central. The visit to Chelmsford was to see our friends Kirsty and Mike, and we had a wonderful weekend. Sadly we missed my Mum complete an epic challenge for Myositis UK that weekend, also raising over £5000. She played golf continuously for 24 hours - such a legend!
I blogged about my training for the Edinburgh Marathon: anxious-ambler.blogspot.com/2018/06/training-for-my-first-marathon
And wrote about my struggles getting back into running: anxious-ambler.blogspot.com/2018/07/june-and-july-parkrunning-and-family-fun
We had an fantastic spell of sunny hot weather that lasted into July and beyond. We enjoyed an amazing trip to Copenhagen with Dave's family, to watch Arran represent Australia for the first time in the RaceRunning world championships. I also got the opportunity to run my first international parkrun at Amager Faelled - I love that parkrun has changed travel for me!
July also brought Colin, Emma and Matthew back to Scotland, and we had a great time at Vogrie on a Saturday morning at the end of the month. It also brought the Dog Jog, marking my year anniversary of running. Safe to say it has changed my life!
Thankfully I rediscovered my love for running in July, and started training for marathon number two, although I hadn't entered it at that point! I felt pretty down that I still hadn't managed a Munro and it wasn't looking likely, but as I mentioned at the start of this blog, that was just the way life was in 2018.
When August arrived, there was plenty to look forward to including a trip to Ireland for Matthew's christening. We had a brilliant family weekend, very chilled and lots of laughs. Definitely one of my highlights of the year!
I also completed my first ever inaugural parkrun, at Loch Leven. A challenging one! But it's great to have one on my inlaw's doorstep - I've been back a couple of times since.
August also brought the Abbotsford Trail race, which Ross and I had entered. A challenging five mile run, and my fourth run of that week - marathon training was well underway! I had by this point entered the Nice Cannes marathon, due to take place on the 4th of November.
I got my running mojo back in September, definitely helped by smashing my Vogrie parkrun PB from 24.09 to 23.04! I was on cloud nine for a very long time - and in fact I still am; when I wanted a sub-24 minute time in 2018 I had no idea I'd get so close to sub-23! It perked me up so much, and the next day Dave and I had a brilliant walk in the Pentlands, one of only a few hill walks of the year but certainly a memorable one: anxious-ambler.blogspot.com/2018/09/mountain-marathon-and-mental-mojo
In September I also had my first running fall, a tumble nearly six miles into a run round Loch Leven. And Dave's brother was over from Australia, so we enjoyed Loch Leven parkrun on a very chilly September morning. I also volunteered the next morning at Loch Leven junior parkrun, something I'd like to do more of in 2019 - it was brilliant seeing the kids enjoying their running so much!
October saw my 29th blood donation, and my return to long runs - I did my 18 miler and my 20 miler this month ahead of the November marathon. I was pretty tired in October! I also wrote a blog post about embracing the feeling of being uncomfortable, whether in running or in life: anxious-ambler.blogspot.com/2018/10/running-from-comfort
Parkrun adventures continued with a trip to Lanark Moor parkrun with Ross and Dave - Dave's first parkrun! - and we all enjoyed this challenging course.
Dave and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary, and we also enjoyed a nice meal for mum's birthday.
When November arrived I was feeling marathon ready, and in the best possible shape I could be in. We travelled out to France on the 1st of November and attended the expo in Nice. Sadly on the 4th I had a bad day in the marathon office (running 26.2 miles without having gone to the toilet first is not recommended!!), but I'm really proud of myself for completing this tough run. And I'm really proud of Colin for his 3.36 marathon PB!
I wrote a long post about my second marathon adventure here: anxious-ambler.blogspot.com/2018/11/running-my-second-marathon-nice-cannes
It was so lovely to spend time with Colin, Emma and Matthew too. A real bonus that we got to visit them twice in 2018.
I spent the rest of November feeling exhausted! With the shorter days and darker nights, I took some proper time off from running. I made an exception for the brand new Peebles parkrun - it's great to have one in the Borders at last!
November also brought the amazing news that I will be an Aunty again, to a baby not very far away! Exciting.
I wrote a post in early December about my training for marathon number two: anxious-ambler.blogspot.com/2018/12/training-for-my-second-marathon
Parkrun was a big focus for me in 2018, as I was determined to reach the fifty parkrun milestone, but also to try and volunteer as much as possible. With five cancellations at Vogrie due to dodgy weather in January/February/March/December, plus four Saturdays where I couldn't possibly run or volunteer, I was pushing it to reach 50 by the end of the year. On a side note, I am amazed to find there were only four Saturdays in 2018 I didn't run or volunteer (well nine including the cancelled events) - it really shows me how much of a priority I made it!
I didn't manage to volunteer every month, however with a bit of focus on the running, I did manage to complete my 50th parkrun on the 1st of December. It was brilliant! I ran with Dave and my cousin Colin, who is hoping to join the parkrun family in 2019. Ten days later I received my free red milestone t-shirt, and I feel incredibly proud to run in it!
The rest of December was spent gearing up for Christmas, as well as running a Festive 5k at Tweedbank with Ross. We were so chuffed to see Dave's brilliant book in print at last, a real achievement for him.
Christmas itself was all about family time. We spent time with both of our families, complete with dog walks and plenty of food eaten. I even managed a Christmas Day jog to run off some of the food consumed in time for next round!
I felt pretty rundown in between Christmas and Hogmanay but thankfully we had quite a quiet New Years Eve planned. We spent the last hours of 2018 in Dunfermline with our friends Gibson, Paula and Gibson Oskar, who we've enjoyed many happy moments with this year. I shared some non-alcoholic beer with 24-weeks pregnant Paula, enabling me to drive early on the 1st of January to...parkrun of course!
Dave and I brought in 2019 with the 'parkrun double' - the only day of the year you can do two parkruns. The first one - Kirkcaldy at 9am - was a bit of a struggle due to tiredness, but we'd woken up by the second one - Loch Leven at 11am - and really enjoyed it! It was a brilliant way to bring in a new, exciting year ahead. Far better than the panic attack that brought in 2018 anyway!
2018 in numbers (I love numbers!):
1484.5 miles walked
682 miles run
23 Zumba classes
0 Munros
1 Loch swim and 1 swim in the Med!
So there we go - that was 2018. There was lots of running; I'm so impressed I ran 682 miles this year including two marathons! Although I entered 2018 knowing I was going to run the Edinburgh Marathon in May, I never once imagined I'd run two in a year. I had one very positive experience and one fairly negative experience, however I am ready for a third experience at some point in the future - but it won't be in 2019!
As you can tell from this blog, parkrun has been a massive part of my year, and I can't imagine life without it now. It has helped me in so many ways, physically and mentally. It has given me a sense of community, and a positive structure to my sometimes chaotic week.
I'm sure parkrun will be a big part of 2019 too. My aim for this year is to get to my 25th volunteering milestone - 14 stints will take me there, but it's hardly a chore. It feels so good to give something back.
This is a big year running-wise for Dave too. In two months time he'll run the Inverness Half Marathon, and it'll be my turn to be the support team! He may also run his first marathon this year too; if not then 2020 will be the focus for him too.
There's something big on the cards for this year, which I'll write about in due course. Safe to say, it's pretty exciting!
I'm mostly looking forward to time with friends and family, to staying happy and healthy, and to keep building on some of the lessons I learned in 2018. It was a transformative year in so many ways - tough times and challenges yes, but good times and happy memories too.
Goodbye 2018 - I'm ready for you 2019!
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