Running again!

I actually don't know where the last two months have gone since I last blogged (I don't know where the last six months have gone since I had a baby to be honest!!) but I'm delighted to say that I have - tentatively - started running again!

I've run three parkruns post-baby; Loch Leven, Lochore and Vogrie, and I've done a couple of very short runs in Stow. It has felt incredibly difficult, and has made me wonder how I ever managed to run more than three miles in one go! However it has also felt incredibly liberating, and I've felt like 'me' again for the first time in ages.

Loch Leven parkrun

Vogrie parkrun

Sadly it has been a couple of weeks since my last run, which is frustrating because I'd got into a habit of one a week up until recently. I've been floored by a nasty cold and several sleepless nights have prevented my recovery. Hopefully it is all out of the way before Christmas and I can maybe get one more run - maybe a parkrun! - in by the end of 2019.

I have some big running goals for 2020 and I've no idea if they are achievable or not! I'm learning to not plan too far ahead as life is very unpredictable with a baby.

I would like to attempt some buggy running in early 2020 - a daunting thought, but I'm hopeful it will give me more of that feeling of freedom, as well as quality time with my daughter. After all, she should be used to the motion after all those pregnant runs! Maybe in the not-so-distant future parkrun will be back on my weekly agenda...

This is likely to be my last blog post of 2019 with the way things are just now, but hopefully I'll manage my 2019 review post in early January.

Wishing all my lovely readers and followers a very Merry Christmas!

Post-partum parkruns

*I know we use the term post-natal here but I couldn't resist the allure of the alliteration!

So happy to write that Totty and I have now completed TWO parkruns together since she was born! The first in September on a surprisingly warm morning at Vogrie, and she slept the whole way round. The second a couple of weekends ago, on parkrun's 15th birthday, where she was awake for most of the time then dropped off to sleep with a mile to go. Both completed at walking pace I hasten to add!

Last weekend she also volunteered for the first time, helping me with barcode scanning.

I don't think we'll make it to parkrun every Saturday, but to have completed two and volunteered once feels like a victory given how tough the last few months have been.

I'm even allowing myself to start thinking about running again, and have started researching running buggies for when she gets beyond six months (January). I'd like to start building up my fitness again with a few short runs before I commit to buggy running, but it's quite a daunting thought with extra complications such as timing it between breast-feeds etc. But I'm not putting any pressure on myself; I will be so happy when I can run regularly again but I know there is no rush.

In the meantime I am trying to walk as much as I can. Some days are better than others - some days it seems impossible to cross the threshold. Having a dog makes life a lot more complicated at times now, but it also forces me out the door come rain or shine, and that can only be a good thing.

I've been very reflective recently as October brings a lot of memorable dates; four years since we got engaged on the 14th, three years since we got married on the 8th, and now a new one - a whole year since we took a pregnancy test on the 15th and life changed forever.

Fittingly, we found out at Vogrie Country Park. The day before I'd completed my last long run (20 miles) in advance of the Nice Cannes Marathon on 4th November. My period was four days late at this point but I was resisting testing until the five day point. On Monday 15th October we'd been into Edinburgh to meet up with Dave's mum, bought a pregnancy test on the way home, then stopped at Vogrie to walk Tig. We couldn't resist testing there and it seemed so fitting given all the happy times we've had at Vogrie, and how many life-changing things had already happened as a result (I wouldn't have run a marathon or two if it hadn't been for finding Vogrie parkrun for example).

The result was expected and not a surprise, filling us with excitement and anxiety in equal measures.

I tried to take an artistic photo of the test and the park (and Tig!) but didn't realise until I got home that I'd completely failed, oh well!

We then kept the pregnancy a secret until Christmas, which was really difficult to do!

It's astonishing to look back and think that we found out about little Totty a whole year ago, and now she is here, fourteen and a half weeks old and blowing our minds at every turn.

The famous toilet block!

Happy one year line on a stick! How you changed our lives 💖

And just like that the whole world changed...

They say you have the nine months of your pregnancy to prepare for your baby's arrival; to go to the antenatal classes, to read the books, to get ready...

But truly nothing or no-one can prepare you for the way your whole world changes when you are handed a little life into your arms and from that moment on they're yours...

It happened to me at 8.32am on Friday 5th July. Fifteen days overdue and having given me an 'interesting' labour coming into the world sideways, baby Totty made me a mother and my whole world changed forever.

And it is without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done. I won't sugarcoat it, it has been a very tough adjustment. Everything I expected or imagined has either been wrong or a hundred times harder than I could ever have thought. The physical and mental recovery from labour has taken a long time - and still isn't (and may never be) complete. The whirlwind of those first few days and weeks of parenthood catches you so completely off-guard and you know for sure life will never be the same again. The lack of sleep makes you feel like you've been hit by a train, and the demands of 'responsive' breastfeeding are brutal. Your body and mind are not your own.

But very slowly I feel I am just starting to emerge from the fog of those early weeks. My beautiful baby girl is happy and healthy, and I am starting to find myself again somewhere amongst the chaos of feeding, crying (me and her), nappy-changing and sleeping (or lack thereof). Not 'myself' as I once was - that life has gone now - but a new self.

Two years ago I found running and parkrun. Without both I believe I would've struggled even more physically and mentally with the demands of labour and becoming a parent. My mind and body were stronger as a result of two years of running including two marathons. Running was - and will be again - my therapy, and I greatly miss being able to do it.

I've spent almost every Saturday at parkrun these past two years, including the Saturday six days before baby arrived. All of a sudden the days are meaningless and Totty's timings do not match parkrun's. So I've been greatly missing this one bit of structure in my life, not to mention the feel good factor of volunteering, the camaraderie and the people of parkrun, the fresh air and the mental health benefits.

I know I'll get back more regularly in time and I have to be patient. But I didn't realise how much I'd miss it.

Totty is now nine weeks old and we have made one trip in time for parkrun. A couple of weeks ago we took a wee trip and it was so great to be back at Vogrie.

My blog will be infrequent from now on as I adjust to this new life, but in time I hope to be able to share more. Parkrun and Scotland's Munros will always be there for us to enjoy when we're ready and able...

A fantastic family walk for Elliot

For the past three years, we've gathered as a family for a walk in late June to remember the fine young man that was Elliot Cursiter. We've picked locations that were meaningful to Elliot and his family, and that hold special memories for some or all of us.

In 2017 ten of us and two dogs set off on the West Highland Way, walking from Kingshouse to Kinlochleven. This was a section that Elliot had joined Dad and I on in 2013, and he'd also walked with cousins as part of the full walk a few years previously. It was a challenging walk (each time!), but we'd enjoyed each other's company and raised a wee dram to Elliot mid-walk.

In 2018 sixteen of us and two dogs enjoyed a flatter walk on the Water of Leith, from Slateford to Ratho, with a lovely lunch at the end at the Bridge Inn. A walk Elliot had enjoyed with his Dad, and the same restaurant where we had celebrated Elliot's 21st birthday in 2015. Another happy day in good company despite the reasons for our gathering.

Last weekend, nineteen of us and three dogs set off from Talla Reservoir to walk to Gameshope Bothy, where Elliot had previously enjoyed (or endured?!) walks with his Dad and cousins. It was a fantastic turnout on a warm summer's day, and we had the whole place to ourselves.

This was a new walk in a undiscovered area for me, and I'm already looking forward to going back. It was absolutely beautiful. There's a great path that follows the Gameshope Burn, complete with falls and pools, up to the bothy. It wasn't too far but far enough to feel challenging (especially at 40 weeks pregnant!). The challenges continued with an interesting river crossing to get to the bothy, which tested our brains and our boots.

Once on the other side, a fantastic lunch carried up there by Uncle Colin was enjoyed - I was just sorry not to be able to sample the fizz on offer!

Gradually our numbers dwindled as members of the group had to leave for other commitments, and after a few hours the rest of us began the downhill trek back to the cars. I dipped my feet in the cool water to ease the swelling, and we said our goodbyes with plans already in place for next year's walk.

Although the reason for our gathering and walking like this each year is so very sad, the walks these last three years have been nothing but happy occasions. I'm sure Elliot has been with us each time.

Making the call

A couple of weeks ago I made the decision to stop running. I thought it would be a tough decision to make but actually it was surprisingly easy - probably because it was natural, unforced, and without a doubt the right call for me to make.

Although I'd originally hoped to keep running - parkrun only - into my late pregnancy, the reality is that I made it to 30 weeks, and I'm incredibly proud of that. I possibly could have gone on longer but to my own detriment, and I would've lost the enjoyment factor and therefore it would have been pointless.

I really noticed a difference between my last two parkruns, at 29 weeks and at 30 weeks. At 29 weeks I ran a reasonably pacey 28.49 complete with a sprint finish - could've been something to do with the fact that my mum and dad plus Dave and my best friend Emily were waiting at the finish! Despite the dreich day I'd enjoyed the run and gone steadily, finishing a minute faster than the previous week's effort of 29.49.

I was certainly very tired after that run at 29 weeks, and was a write-off for the rest of the day / weekend! It was a blessing in some ways that it was a wet dreary weekend, as I got to spend the time resting and spending quality time with Emily - who incidentally had flown all the way from North Carolina to surprise me! It was incredible, the best surprise I've ever had. We had a lovely five days together, including a wonderful day at Stobo with my mum, and she spoiled me rotten with baby and birthday gifts. Memories to last a lifetime!

 

The following Saturday the sun was shining and it was a beautiful morning at Vogrie Country Park. Dave and I ran together and I instantly knew that this was a very different run to the week before. I felt a lot heavier, and a lot more breathless. I finished in a time of 30.08 which I was very pleased with - and liked the symmetry of 30 minutes at 30 weeks!

I didn't know it at that point but this would turn out to be the last run of my pregnancy.

Again I was very tired after this parkrun on the 13th of April, but the next few days were tougher than previously. I started to notice Braxton Hicks (practice contractions!) which were uncomfortable and made me feel even more exhausted. My stomach hasn't been great since having to take iron tablets, and in general I felt run down. I saw the midwife for a routine appointment at 31 weeks and she emphasised the importance of taking it easy. The decision to keep running or not was up to me, but I knew myself that the time had come.

Dave and I had originally planned to visit Lanark parkrun on that weekend, the 20th of April, but it just would've been the wrong call. We've been itching to go back to Lanark since our first visit there in October with Ross - Dave's first parkrun! - but just haven't managed. It's such a challenging course and I really struggle with inclines, so at 31 weeks pregnant it would have been too tough!

We made the call to go to Vogrie instead, and I got to marshal on another lovely sunny morning.

Last weekend I tailwalked at Vogrie, which actually I found quite tough as it was a pretty fast walking pace with a bump! I love that the tailwalking role gives you a volunteer credit and a run credit too. This weekend I'll be a barcode scanner for my 17th volunteering role, having done 65 parkruns. I can't wait to get my 25th volunteer milestone t-shirt, although I'll have to wait until baby is here as there just aren't enough Saturdays between now and my due date!

I can't imagine my Saturdays without parkrun, and I just love that you can stay involved even if you don't want to or can't run. It's such an inclusive and welcoming place. Parkrun has given me so much, it seems only fair to give a wee something back.

Although I didn't know at the time that my last run would be my last run, I'm pleased with the way it has panned out. Perhaps it was even better because I didn't know. Despite seeing other runners - such as Jasmin Paris! - running at Vogrie at 37/38/39+ weeks pregnant and thinking I'd be the same, I'm so chuffed I managed to run until 30 weeks pregnant. I can look back at my seven months of pregnancy thus far knowing that staying active and healthy has been good for me and baby, and feeling so fortunate I've been able to keep running. I find myself looking back at the Nice Cannes Marathon and feeling so grateful baby and I got to run together :)

Running up that hill

...okay, 'running' might be a bit of an exaggeration for this blog title. 'Getting up that hill' would be a more accurate description but not quite as catchy a song...

I've just hit the big milestone of the third trimester!!! And talking of big, I certainly am getting more that way. Bump has 'popped' out a bit recently (seriously, Dave and I noticed a difference between Sunday morning and Sunday night!) and keeping active is getting that bit more challenging.

The slightest incline has me going at a snail's pace - and this is a struggle given that every dog walk or run from our house has an incline of sorts! It doesn't need to be much, but anything of the uphill variety is a struggle. Baby is pushing on my lungs and diaphragm, which is causing breathlessness. I'll not talk about my bladder issues here but let's just say I can't get far!

That being said, I've had a very straightforward pregnancy thus far and I am so grateful for that. Keeping active is something that's very important to me, and in my naivety of the first trimester I thought I could manage at least one Munro before my due date. Unfortunately I know now that's not a realistic possibility (well, I could possibly manage Carn Aosda at Glenshee with the very high start!), as it would just be too much for me.

However, we had planned a few days break on Skye to visit our friends Bill and Line at the end of March, and I was keen to get some good walking done if I could. It meant sacrificing parkrun last Saturday morning which is never easy for me to do (one day there will be one on Skye!), but annual leave and fitting in around the tourism season (check Bill's tours out here: www.realscottishjourneys.com) saw us travelling up on Thursday and back on Sunday.

Unfortunately Friday wasn't such a nice day weather-wise, although we got out for a few walks. Firstly a wee stroll alongside the River Snizort, near Bill and Line's house. Then to St Columba's Isle, to visit the MacNicol burial site. Line took us to what would normally be a great viewpoint of the Old Man of Storr and Trotternish Ridge from the Storr Lochs, however the weather was really against us by this point. Soaked and weather-beaten, Dave and I made our final stop of the day at the Faerie Glen, somewhere Dave has been visiting for over fifteen years. Thoroughly soaked, we made our way home for pizza, non-alcoholic beer, and the warmth of a log fire!

What Friday lacked in decent weather and views Saturday made up for in abundance. We couldn't have had a more different day. We decided to head back over to the Isle of Raasay and attempt the hike up Dun Caan, where we got engaged in October 2015. I wasn't sure how I'd get on with this, but we agreed to take it easy and stop if it was too much.

On the ferry with Dun Caan in the background

We did take it easy, and thankfully I found it much more straightforward than I thought I would. It's not a strenuous climb, but enough to challenge me. I was delighted to make it to the top - and we had it all to ourselves (except for two tents; we met the lovely couple on our way back down who were spending their Saturday night at the top!). It actually felt surprisingly sheltered at the top, so we took some photos, had some snacks and enjoyed being back in this special place.

Then we made our way back down and enjoyed a picnic lunch in the sunshine in the lay-by.

I was unsurprisingly very tired after this adventure, but I was so chuffed to have managed it. It made me think I could probably manage a jaunt up the Eildons or the Pentlands when the weather gets better again and before I get even bigger!

I haven't run for two weeks now but I'm hoping to manage Vogrie parkrun this weekend.

Whilst on Skye, we also celebrated Tig's third 'dog day' with us - we rescued her on 31st March 2016. We think she had approximately three years in her previous life (farm/rescue centre, but there wasn't a vet record of her before she was given to the rescue centre) so this year marks her being with us for longer than that!

Tig's highlights March 2018-19

Running - including a marathon! - whilst pregnant

In early to mid October 2018, I was coming towards the end of my training cycle for marathon number two, the Nice-Cannes Marathon on the 4th of November.

I completed my longest training run of 20 miles on Sunday 14th of October - a run which I found really tough but actually I wasn't sore at all the next day thanks to foam-rolling and salt and vinegar crisps afterwards!

On Monday 15th of October, three years to the day from when Dave proposed on Raasay, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive!

The next few weeks were full of worry about whether I should go ahead with running the marathon or not. I had literally just started tapering, my longest runs were out of the way, and physically I was feeling in the best shape of my adult life. I had run the 20 mile run without knowing I was pregnant, but psychologically there was now a huge shift in my head. Would I be harming the baby - at this point a tiny ball of cells called a blastocyst - be continuing to run long distances? And what about the heat in the south of France? Would that do me or baby any harm?

I did what most people would probably do at this point, and took to the internet to find out more! I found quite a lot of information about running during pregnancy - the consensus being that as long as you were doing it before falling pregnant, it was perfectly safe to continue for as long as you felt able. Adjustments would have to be made - running slower, keeping cool, and staying hydrated. But it could help with a healthy pregnancy and a healthy labour.

I didn't find a whole lot of information about specifically running a marathon whilst pregnant (except from the story of a woman who ran the Chicago Marathon whilst 39 weeks pregnant - incredible!). I stumbled upon two blogs that I found really useful:

1) 14 things you should know about running whilst pregnant: http://www.ahealthiermoo.com/index.php/2016/08/19/14-things-you-should-know-about-running-whilst-pregnant/

2) Running a marathon whilst pregnant: https://twelveminutemile.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/running-a-marathon-while-pregnant/

The second blog in particular was incredibly useful to me. The timings were very similar to my own, the worries and concerns written about were very similar to my own.

Ultimately I made the decision that it was so early in my pregnancy, I was in very good shape, and I'd regret not giving it a go.

As you'll know if you've read my blog post on the Nice-Cannes Marathon, I didn't have a good day in the running office! After telling my family, friends and colleagues our happy news during the festive period and early January, many people said to me that being pregnant explains why it didn't go well. However, I know in myself that my issues during the marathon were entirely stomach related and nothing to do with my sesame seed sized foetus!

Be that as it may, I'd be lying if I said the baby wasn't on my mind during the marathon, and therefore I'd concede that it did affect me in some way - but mentally rather than physically. I suppose part of that was feeling that running the marathon was a risk, and it didn't go well, so it wasn't a risk worth taking.

In hindsight I feel differently. As tough as it was, I'm so glad I did the marathon, and baby is happy and healthy. I can't wait to tell my child that they accompanied me on a long run from Nice to Cannes!

I've massively reduced my running ever since my second marathon. If I hadn't been pregnant, I think I'd have signed up for another spring marathon by this point, however I'm more than happy to put this on the backburner! I've had full support from the midwives I've seen that I am fine to keep running for as long as I can, provided I make adjustments when necessary and don't overdo it.

My body has dictated what I can and can't do. At the end of 2018, I was still running parkrun weekly, and continuing to run sub-24 and sub-25 minute 5ks. However as the weeks have gone on, I've found my pace has slowed down and the furthest I've run is four miles. I'm just so grateful I can still get out and do it, as I know it's not so straightforward for everyone.

I've been really lucky during my pregnancy thus far, with no sickness and generally feeling healthy. I've been very tired, and running certainly compounds this, but on the whole I've been physically fine.

16 weeks

I greatly miss training for 'something', and sometimes have felt my mental health has been impacted by not getting out for my 'therapy' a few times a week. I miss the fresh air and endorphins that running brings. I'm still walking plenty, and hope to start doing some swimming soon.

This week so far I've managed two short runs of two miles each. My legs felt sore and heavy, and my bladder is very unhappy with me whilst I'm running! However once I get home from a run these days and sit down, baby is very active indeed so I can only assume 'it' is happy in there! I feel in myself I won't be running too far into my pregnancy, but if I can get round a parkrun on a Saturday morning, no matter how slowly, I'll be delighted! I'll also be volunteering on the weeks I don't feel up to running.

20 weeks

Everyone will experience this differently, and what is right for me may not be right for you, so always seek medical advice before doing anything strenuous during pregnancy. There are numerous studies out there on the benefits of keeping fit and healthy whilst pregnant, but every woman is different, and you must do what's right for you. I know I've been very lucky to keep running so far (24 weeks today!), and I hope it can continue.

I haven't felt able to go anywhere near a Munro, as my legs struggle with even the slightest of inclines. But I'm looking forward to family trips around this beautiful country in the future - there are hills to be climbed, paths to venture down, and lochs and rivers to be swam in.

Our lives are changing and it's scary, exciting and wonderful!

Twelve miles in twelve days

I usually find January (and February) quite a struggle, as I'm sure most people do. It's a combination of the post-Christmas and Hogmanay comedown, sometimes feeling a bit daunted and unsure about the year ahead, dark cold days and seemingly not much to look forward to.

However so far - and I'm aware we're not even halfway through the month yet - I've made my peace with January. And I can only put this down to one thing - parkrun. If you're sick of me banging on about how great parkrun is, then this blog post is not for you!

We're less than two weeks into January, and already there have been four parkruns - what a great way to start the year!

I'd heard of the 'New Year double' in 2017, but as we were staying in a remote location near Loch Awe for Hogmanay, it would have been impossible to participate. New Years Day is the only day of the year you can run in two parkrun events and have both results count. Many parkruns also offer a Christmas Day option, and it is possible to run two on the 25th December, but only one result counts.

As we were staying in Dunfermline with friends for Hogmanay, it made sense to participate in two events not too far away. Kirkcaldy parkrun offered an earlier start time of 9am, to allow for runners to travel to their second event of the day - the obvious choices being Dunfermline or Loch Leven, both starting at 11am. We opted for Loch Leven due to the proximity to Dave's parents and the post-run sustenance that would inevitably be on offer!

Despite an alcohol-free Hogmanay for me, it was still a struggle getting up at 7.45am after only getting to bed at 2.30am and not sleeping very well! It was also a much chillier morning than I'd thought was forecast, so after scraping the ice from the car, we finally set off to Kirkcaldy at 8.30am.

I was so pleased that Dave had agreed (been cajoled?) into coming with me - it certainly made it much more fun to have company. We both felt pretty rubbish from a lack of sleep, so opted to take the Beveridge park route slow and steadily. We ran together the whole way, enjoying seeing the sunshine breaking through the trees, and the great support of the marshals and volunteers who'd selflessly given up their 1st of January morning for this to go ahead.

Kirkcaldy parkrun is a really brilliant course and I look forward to a return visit when feeling less tired! It's all on tarmac, and is two loops but with a wee run round the boating pond on the second loop to mix it up a bit. There is an incline - which you have to do twice - but thanks to some brilliant volunteers cheering us on from the top, it didn't feel too bad! There's also a lovely sweeping downhill section after this which you can really make up time on.

In total there were 342 participants, which is a course record for Kirkcaldy, and Dave and I were quite happy to come in at 34.05.

We got back in the car to head to Loch Leven's Larder, and soon realised there were 4 or 5 cars in front of us doing exactly the same thing! We actually got to the Larder for 10am which was perfect as it gave us time to use the toilets and have some food. Subsequently we felt a whole lot brighter and more awake for parkrun number two of the day!

I decided that now I was awake and warmed up, I'd push myself a bit more and see how it felt. There was a bitterly cold wind coming from the loch, but it was a beautiful morning.

I was really pleased to run a time of 25.25, with Dave coming in consistently with a time of 34.15.

We were cheered on and met by Dave's mum and dad, and we all kept saying to each other what a wonderful way this was to bring in a new year!

A brilliant morning for Loch Leven parkrun - the attendance was 383 which was a huge course record and even more impressive when you learn that a few weeks earlier, on the 15th of December, they'd had 31 runners! The volunteers did a tremendous job in keeping everything moving, especially the busy finish funnel, and the results were out within two hours of the event starting!

We also managed to get some brilliant photos, although cruelly the photographer was situated on one of the tough uphill sections!

We were pretty exhausted afterwards of course, but had that post-run glow and feeling of contentment that we'd managed to get up and complete these two parkruns. Too many January 1sts have been lost to hangovers - I now know how I'd rather spend the day!

It felt a bit odd that just four days later we were about to run parkrun again! This time back on schedule at Vogrie on the 5th of January. There was some extra excitement in the park as Persil, one of the corporate sponsors of parkrun, were there taking photos and handing out laundry tablets at the end.

I also opted to run this one a bit faster, although a sub-25 minute time did feel tough after running six miles earlier in the week. I haven't been running all that regularly post-marathon so the legs got a bit of a shock!

By yesterday, the 12th of January, I'd decided to slow it down a bit having had a cold all week. Another brilliant morning at Vogrie, with their second highest attendance (266) and a new finish funnel to alleviate a bit of the congestion there.

Four parkruns by the 12th of January, and as alluded to in my 2018 review post, I'm looking forward to continuing my parkrun journey in 2019. I can't imagine Saturday mornings without it!